Writing about Sonic the Hedgehog the only way I know how... She and I used to date. It was back in high school, and we just hit it off. First time I laid eyes on her, let me tell you, love at first sight. She had her problems, granted, everyone was talking about how fast she was, and I always preferred to play it loud than play by speed, but I could change. I wasn't going to give up my old fashioned ways for her, but I still ended up buying everything she claimed I needed. Suppose she was just that good. As the relationship went on, I thought she might be a one trick pony. Running, jumping, rolling, it was great, don't get me wrong, but I could only do the same thing so many times. She invited her foxy friend over, but that was just... well, the same, but with a little blonde freak. I felt a bit dirty, but I suppose that's a part of any relationship. She... well, we tried some... interesting hardware, but that was the same, again, with a few gimmicks thrown in for good measure. There was something about… time travel? It all seems like a blur now, but I still remember the doubts: Had our relationship grown stale? Was it her? She did have a way of trying certain things that, while they might have been great for her, made me vomit. She was like a pinball, bounding from emotion to emotion, but, like pinball, how long could it hold my interest… my interest? Could it be me? I just didn't know what to think anymore. It was still fun, but could I do it forever? Then, immediately after the senior prom, she showed how much she loved me. Suddenly, our world was so huge, so massive I never wanted to leave. Things she'd considered "bonuses" in the past, horrible asides that just ended with her obtaining more jewelry, were gone, and in their place, a wonderful pile of spheres. Sorry, we were a little strange. Our hearts were locked as one, and nothing could tear us apart. Then, just a little while later, she, always the more experimental of the two of us, invited this red head to join our fun. Old things seemed new again! Stages of our relationship I once swore to never experience again were now something I looked forward to reliving with a seething passion. There wasn't a cloud in our sky. Of course... I guess the signs were all there. I remember the night before graduation, everyone excited about one life ending and a new one beginning, and, while I was paying attention to some old friends I figured I'd never see again, I saw her out of the corner of my eye. I took a more focused look, and saw her doing something we had both said, on many occasions, was stupid. Others... others we insulted on many occasions, they'd tried it, and, well, we both agreed, we both agreed, it was horrible. But there she was, going all "three dimensional". At least it didn’t make her more popular, no one really noticed at the time, I tried not to bring it up again, and we went on like nothing happened. I thought, you know, it was a party, she'd always been kind of "wild" and "cutting edge", figured it was a one time thing. I still wish I was right. Well, high school ended, and I guess so did we. We were going to two totally different areas, and we both figured it would be too difficult to try to maintain something that was just going to hurt both of us. We had a relationship based on happiness, if we weren't happy, why continue? I admitted that, no matter what, odds are I'd still love her, and, if memory serves, she kinda shrugged. Should've taken that as a sign. I didn't try to look her up immediately after that, heard she was just running around a lot with no real direction. Some sort of doomed racing thing? I don’t know, I had no interest in hearing about her failures, so I just laid off for a while. Eventually, she called me. I guess that's always the way it is, me too much of a coward to hear the truth. She was, after a long dry spell, finally with another guy. One of those guys into the three dimensional stuff. I really didn't want to believe it. She kept telling me how deep he was, how much fun she had with all her old friends while he was around, that the 3-D wasn't a problem with him, because he'd always be there. Get with the times, she told me. Sorry, babe, that's just not my way. Those two, they just kept it up. I'd talk to her sometimes, she said he was always finding fresh things to do. I told her his grinding wasn't anything original, that it was a step backwards to please others if anything, but she wouldn't hear me. I tried to be happy for her, I really did, but... it was all just too different for me. I had this idea of how things should be in my head, how things were, some sort of mega collection of memories, but even the memories couldn't bring me the same kind of joy, knowing how it all ends. And it is over. She's getting married in the fall, and now that I know even more about Big Mr. 3-D, I'm even more disappointed. I sat down, tried, really hard to like him, but it just isn't happening. He's repetitive, he can't seem to focus on any one thing for longer than ten seconds (don’t even think he can pay attention to my ex for that long, for that matter, anymore), and possibly worst of all, I'm beginning to wonder whether or not my ex-love even knows he's this... broken. He seems to soil the past with his mere presence. Sure, we still talk. We're still friends, we'll always be. Sometimes we sit down and talk about all the good times we had, maybe even throw out a few ideas of what it might have been had we stuck it out, had 3-D never came around. But, there's always something bittersweet there, that there's just... I don't know... I'm sorry, I just have something in my eye. Oh, right, rating system. Umm, I made a graph about the Sonic franchise as a whole, but it got boring, so I added a picture of Superman socking Wonder Woman for some unexplained reason, and that seemed more interesting, so deal with it, I need to go get a few tissues. Speed back to Game'in!

All non-copyrighted material is copyright 2004 Robert Pollack. Reproduction of most anything without Robert's express permission in whole or in part is prohibited by law. Ain't that a kick in the pants?